Tuesday 19 February 2008

Honesty and Annoyance

Hi Everyone,

I didn't feel like leaving an entry for the past two days and tonight i wanna rant so here I am lol...........

Firstly I had a good weekend, well a good enough weekend that someone can have when they are feeling miserable.  I went to Trina and Wayne's for the weekend.  Went down on Friday night and came home on Sunday.  Saturday we went to Dartmoor in search of something or another - can't leave you a link it appears I didn't save the website doh!!  I took some pics though and I shall post those at a later date, I can't really be bothered right now sorry...................

The funniest thing to happen (and she knew I would post this!) we were coming back to the car after going for a walk on the moor and I decided to go down a different path to Trina and Wayne.  Eventually Trina thought she would follow me and ended up running a little bit to catch up with me.  She jumped down the part we had climbed up to start walking, but what she hadn't taken into consideration was the ground was slippery and muddy and she lost her footing and went bottom first into the mud!!  I'm still laughing about it now........There was a group of lads getting into their cars at the time and they had watched her do it and one said 'Wahey' (If I'd been thinking about it I could've started the chant 'you fell over') all I could do was laugh at her!!  When I looked her legs were bent over and she was trying to get up using her hand in the mud, it was so funny, bless her................. She's such a star though coz she didn't stop laughing!!  It got even funnier when she got into the car coz she had to take her jeans off as they were so wet!!  She then worried about getting from the car to the house without people seeing that she had no jeans on!!   I swear if that had been me, I would not have been amused at falling over, let alone having people laugh at me :(  I'm such a spoil sport!!

We also went to see Cloverfield in the cinema on Saturday!!  I have to say I've not read any reviews about this film, I just knew vaguely what it was about and that people raved about it when it first came out.  I tend to avoid things that people rave about aka Harry Potter and Lord of the rings, but curiousity got the better of me and I have to say I really enjoyed it!!  It's definitely one of those films that you can only really watch once to get the full effects but it is very clever and I only jumped at the scariness once lol.......

I came home still feeling very blue and it's nothing that Trina had done, mind you I don't think I do myself any favours, and I couldn't shake that feeling for ages.  I've been like it for a couple of weeks now and Trina is concerned that I might have depression.  I swear that deep down inside I know it's not depression, I am just lonely I think is the best way to describe it!!   I know I have friends out there to talk to, but sometimes you just want someone to cuddle up to and what I wouldn't give to hear someone tell me that they love me. 

I know your probably thinking that this is all sounding a bit stupid or silly and that I should just get over myself but I'm trying to be honest with you here and this is quite hard.  At the end of the day I know what I must do to get myself out of it, Trina's forever telling me that I should join groups etc, but if I'm being honest, which I said I was, when I think about things like that I feel scared.  I'm a shy person and not that good at mingling with people if I don't at least have one thing in common with them.  I also worry about travel ~ that sounds stupid too, but I can't drive, if I was to attend some meeting or another how would i get there and home again?

You see there is something else that bothers me about that too......okay I know what I have to do but am I really gonna find what I'm looking for by attending some kind of group thing?  Jeez I'm making it sound like I'm gonna join an AA meeting LOL.............trust me I maybe be a little blue but I'm not an alcoholic lol

I guess things will turn out okay in the end and my head will leave this weird space that it has got itself into at some point and I can concentrate on other stuff that makes me happy such as creating :o)  I love being creative and I haven't done anything about that lately!! 

Anyway enough of this moping..................sorry about that just need to get things off my chest sometimes lol

Bicycle Repair Man has made it to my list of people I am annoyed with.............So far this week he is the only one on it and that's not bad considering it's Tuesday LOL......

Why is he on it I hear you ask?  Well as you know I emailed him and he eventually emailed me back about coming round on the Wednesday.  I fretted all day about this coz I was really down and didn't feel like being cheerful for him and I had no idea what time he was coming so I didn't really settle for the night!!  Eventually I got called away though as Wayne had lost his wallet and had no petrol to get home so they needed money from me, so I had to go round to the petrol station with him. 

Next day I get another email saying 'I tried last night but got no answer', typical huh? He asked if he should come round the next day.  I thought no, I couldn't handle another night like that so emailed back saying no coz I was busy and was away at the weekend so perhaps Tuesday would be good.

Yep you've guessed it he's not shown up!!  I've had my hall door open, which I don't like doing but I thought if he knocks on the front door I won't hear it!!  I've been pretty quiet all evening too so I could listen out for him ~ damn it!!  So that's it I'm annoyed, I could've done my hoovering after all *rolls eyes*  Now I have to do that tomorrow night and my bike is still not fixed!!

Well I've just got some money back from the mobile phone company so I think I shall ring the professional and get him to look at it!!  eeeek...............well what else can I do when some people are so unreliable!!  I need my bike, I want to be able to use my bike for pleasure not just shopping grrrrrrrrrr........... see that's how annoyed I am lol

Onto happier topics?  A lady at work rung in yesterday asking for time off as her sister in law won tix to the Brits so she is going with her.  Her colleague didn't know if they got back stage passes too!!  I'm not jealous..........they are take that fans and I don't care for Take That!!  Mind you if the Foo's turn up (they are nominated) I shall not be amused LOL...........and of course the chiefs are gonna be there, so I shall probably watch it on TV :o)  My predictions:  The Chiefs to win best live act coz they are :)  and the Foo's to win best international album and best international group lol  If those don't come true I shall spread rumours about fixing of the winners  ;-)  Be wary you music big wigs who vote for these things!!  Yes of course these official people are reading my blog..................

Hope you have a good week xx  Ta for reading

 

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am not good with crowds of new people either, I like to get to know people slowly..people think I am quiet but i am not at all really. You have such good friends in Trina and Wayne. Anyway hope you feel better soon Louise xx

Anonymous said...

Don't worry about having a rant I'm a bit of a loner to although most of the time by choice..lol but I do know what you mean by having someone to cuddle up to. I can see how difficult it must be if your a bit shy, and transport is another factor(I don't drive either), thats why the bike man should get your bike fixed as it just takes away a bit more of your freedom. Sounds like you had a good laugh at the weekend.

Take care

Yasmin
x

Anonymous said...

You could try taking on an evening class, it's a good way to meet new people and learn something new along the way. Who know, you might even meet Mr Right.

B. x

Anonymous said...

Hi Jenny sorry you are feeling so down. I think its that time of the year. I haven't even been able to write my blogg since before christmas.So you take care getting out as much as you can does help. Kathie.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jenny.  Joining a group to meet new people sounds like a good idea.  Stop making excuses for not doing it...someone will give you a ride if you need it.  You will never know who's around that corner if you don't take a risk and walk around the corner.  My mom used to say "what you are concerned about today will be fixed and forgotten tomorrow".  Your time will come.  (Men are highly over-rated anyway...you do know that, right?)  LOL
Hugs, Joyce

Anonymous said...

Hi Jenny, its a great place  for a rant I just love to rant about things in my journal from time to time. I agree join something, what about an outdoor pursuit walking or cycling I was young we did weekends and days away all by bus. Sure they would be something in your area like that.  Love Joan.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/jaymact1/JoansMusings/

Anonymous said...

I agree with the previous writers... you really should go out and join a group. Maybe learning a new language? Or something creative? Sometimes it´s hard to jump in at the deep end, but it´s always worth it. Something will happen than. Something new. And it can´t be worse than now.   ((((hugs and cuddles))))) cooper

Anonymous said...

Hi Jenny, sorry to hear that you've been feeling miserable.  It's not silly to talk about how you're feeling - it's one of the best things to do.  When I'm feeling a bit down (we all do sometimes) I write down on paper all the negative emotions that are inside me, such as anger, envy, disappointment or whatever else is causing me to feel bad.  I write it down in big letters, small letters, stab the paper with the pen, colour the letters in, roll the paper up into a ball and throw it across the room, scribble the words out, put the paper on the floor and jump up and down on it...... whatever it takes to get it out of my system, then burn the damn paper and watch all that negativity going up in smoke. lol, I know it sounds daft but it usually works for me!  If that fails, I go buy some shoes!  Take care, Rubes xx  http://journals.aol.co.uk/rubychalluby/my-life-on-a-plate/

Anonymous said...

Everyone is telling you to join something Jen and its a good idea ,I can relate to that lonely feeling ,I hope you feel better for sharing it ,feel better soon ..love Jan xx

Anonymous said...

Hey Mrs..... I Love Ya. There you go. Better already eh? lol. Now c'mon! this isn't like you, It will just be a wee touch of the blues. Getting a hobby Is a brill Idea and I think you have the answer right there for your transport... your bike! No excuse now.(okay so you have to get It fixed first! lol) I hope trina Is okay. I have a very bad sense of humour and would've most definately laughed aswell!-until next week!!  Poor wee lamb. You get that chin up lady and give me a big smile like this... :-) see? that was  easy! lol. ;-) Love Pam xx

Anonymous said...

That reminds me of Dawn French in the Vicar of Dibley when she jumped in a puddle wich was 3 ft deep LOLOLOL.
What a brilliant story.
Gaz xxxx

Anonymous said...

I would of been laughing like crazy if it had been me, that slid through the mud. Sounds like your playing a game of tag with the guy who is suppose to fix your bike. This time of the year is hard on a lot of people, you get the feeling of being shut in. I'm positive your going to find a mate to hang with one of these days hon. Your much too lovable not to. Your in my thoughts hon! (Hugs) Indigo