Thursday, 22 November 2007

Joke for you

The future for Nursery Rhymes!!

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall 
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall 
The structure of the wall was incorrect 
So he won a grand with Claims Direct. 
 
 
It's Raining, It's Pouring. 
Oh sh*t, it's Global Warming. 
 
 
Mary had a little lamb 
her father shot it dead. 
Now it goes to school with her 
between two chunks of bread. 
 
 
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair. 
Said Simple Simon to the pie man 
"What have u got there?" 
Said the pie man unto Simon 
"Pies you dickhead". 
 
 
Mary had a little lamb 
it ran into a pylon. 
10,000 volts went up its arse 
and turned its wool to nylon. 
 
 
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie 
kissed the girls and made them cry. 
When the boys came out to play 
he kissed them too cause he was gay. 
 
 
Jack and Jill 
Went up the hill 
And planned to do some kissing. 
Jack made a pass 
and grabbed her ass 
Now two of his teeth are missing. 
 
 
Mary had a little lamb 
Its fleece was white and wispy. 
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease 
And now it's black and crispy. 
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8 comments:

pharmolo said...

Oh god those are horrible lmao

jeadie05 said...

Jen !!! .....Jan xx

coopscruiser said...

*ggg*   great!!  coops

mtrib2 said...

Your poems are hilarious!     Thanks for the laugh this morning.    I have not been on the computer much since last spring.    My home addition takes up all my time and energy.    I am getting steriod epidural injections to my lumbar spine a maximum of 4 times/year to keep me going this year instead of surgery as ordered by the orthopedic back surgeon.    I still spend a lot of time resting on my board/cushion reading as that is the only way I can concentrate and get relief from the pain.    My worker and I have finally gotten the roof on my new addition over my kitchen after 2 years of work.    I thought it would never be completed.    There is still much to go but now the rain will be kept out as I work on getting the wall plywood and then windows and siding on which will be next spring.    The wall plywood can start going on this winter with waterproofing treatment that can be pre-painted in the the cold weather.    The siding must be painted above 60F with latex paint next spring.     I will be active in the journals this winter and will visit more often.     mark

gazker said...

LOL Loved em!
Gaz

rdautumnsage said...

I can't stop laughing here, ugly but perfect. (Hugs) Indigo

cherry2sweet2eat said...

lmao the jack and jill one is hilarious.

peccarylover said...

my fave is the georgie porgie one...lol!

Amy ~x~