I was sent this by email and I thought I would share it with you - I think it's hysterical!
A number of Primary Schools were doing a project on "The Sea". Kids were asked to draw pictures, or write about their experiences.
Teachers got together to compare the results, and put together some of the comments that were funny, and some that were sad. Here are some of them. The kids were all aged between 5 and 8 years.
This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
Whales are animals, not fish. If they don't get air they can drown,
like my brother did last summer. (David age 7)
Oysters balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
I don't like the sea. It makes me sick on the ferry. (Peter age 6)
My goldfish died. Why? (Katie age 5)
If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)
I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just
like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
A dolphin breaths through an ar$ehole on the top of it's head. (Billy age 8)
My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)
When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.
(William age 7)
I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny
tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy age 6)
Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
My mum has fish nets, but doesn'tcatch any fish. (Laura age 5)
When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid in the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend. It was fun. (Lauren age 7)
A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen inside. (Emma age 5)
When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of sailors (Valerie age 6)
Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)
On holiday my Mum went water ski-ing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny.
(Julie age 7)